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"Revenge of the Failures" transcript (Ridonculous Roleplay)
16:30 <@Don|> -- START -- 16:31 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don arriving at Playa Des Losers on his jet ski* 16:31 <@Don|> Welcome back. 16:31 <@Don|> This week, we're shifting the attention away from our competing campers and on to the unlucky seven who were voted off. 16:31 <@Don|> Ever wonder where they stay after we catapult them from the island? 16:31 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don approaching Anne Maria and Cameron by the hot tub* 16:31 <@Don|> Right here on Playa Des Losers, this luxury resort that I - thankfully - do not have to pay for. ;) 16:32 <+Cameron09> Look, I'm in a hot tub! 16:32 <+Cameron09> A real one! 16:32 <@Don|> How can a hot tub not be real? 16:32 <+Cameron09> Well, there was that virtual reality one I bought 16:32 <+AnneMaria3> It's gorgeous here, Don 16:32 <+AnneMaria3> Even more gorgeous now that Lightnin's here 16:33 <@Don|> Lightning's great. 16:33 <@Don|> But the viewers back home want you guys to talk about the players still IN the game. 16:33 <@Don|> Like Dakota! 16:33 <+AnneMaria3> Oh, I got a lot to say about her 16:33 <+AnneMaria3> That girl thinks she's all that but she ain't, not one bit 16:33 <+Cameron09> She's almost as mean as Anne Maria! 16:34 <+Cameron09> No offense of course. 16:34 <+AnneMaria3> None taken 16:34 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don, Carrie, and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:34 <@Don|> Carrie! Sam! 16:34 <@Don|> What are your thoughts on Dakota? 16:34 <+Carrie|> Sorry Don, but I don't have anything to say about her. 16:34 <+Carrie|> Except... how could she?! 16:35 <+Carrie|> She totally used me and then tried to steal Brody from me. 16:35 <+Sam10> Wait, you dated Brody?? 16:35 <+Carrie|> Oh! No, I just liked him for a while. 16:35 <+Carrie|> But he's nothing like the new guy I'm crushing on. 16:35 <+Sam10> Hey I'm crushing on someone new too! *blushes and stares at her* 16:35 <+Carrie|> Well, it better not be Scott. 16:35 <+Carrie|> He's mine. >.> 16:36 <+Sam10> SCOTT?! He's your new crush? 16:36 <@Don|> Why are we talking about Scott when the question was about Dakota? 16:36 <@Don|> Next! 16:36 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don, Jen, Lightning, and Miles by the grill* 16:36 <+Jen|> Dakota and I are BFFs. 16:36 <+Jen|> If anyone deserves to win, it's her. 16:37 <+Miles> Mother Earth wouldn't allow such a thing! 16:37 <+Miles> Dakota hates animals. She eats meat and owns a fur bag. 16:37 <+Jen|> Oh! That's mine. 16:37 <+Jen|> I let her borrow it. 16:37 * Miles glares at Jen. 16:38 <+Lightning|> Wait, you don't eat meat?! 16:38 <+Lightning|> But everybody needs protein. 16:38 <+Miles> You can get protein from kale, quinoa, and lots of other superfoods. 16:38 <+Lightning|> Wrong! 16:38 <+Lightning|> Try again using smaller words. 16:38 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don, Anne Maria, and Cameron by the hot tub* 16:39 <@Don|> How about Devin? 16:39 <+AnneMaria3> Friendly guy 16:39 <+AnneMaria3> But I wish he could work up the courage to tell Brody he likes him 16:39 <+Cameron09> How can he after what Dakota did? 16:39 <+Cameron09> Going after Brody when Devin liked him first? 16:39 <+Cameron09> She's so egotistical! 16:40 <+AnneMaria3> Ego tentacles? *confused look* 16:40 <+Cameron09> E-GO-TISTICAL 16:40 <+Cameron09> It's when you only think about yourself 16:40 <+AnneMaria3> How is that a bad thing? 16:40 <@Don|> *scene switches to Carrie and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:40 <+Carrie|> I thought Devin was sooooooo sweet. 16:41 <+Sam10> Yeah, he's cool. 16:41 <+Sam10> So hey...Carrie... 16:41 <+Sam10> Remember that first week on the island? 16:41 <+Sam10> And the talk we had? 16:41 <+Carrie|> You mean when you rejected me? 16:42 <+Carrie|> It's okay, Sam. 16:42 <+Carrie|> I'm not mad about that. 16:42 <+Carrie|> I'm only into bad boys anyway. <3 16:42 <+Sam10> Bad boys! 16:42 <+Sam10> I can be bad! 16:42 <@Don|> *scene switches to Jen, Lightning, and Miles by the grill* 16:43 <+Lightning|> Pops always told me nice guys finish last. 16:43 <+Lightning|> But if Devin wins, he could prove Pops wrong! 16:43 <+Jen|> If Dakota doesn't win, Devin totally should. 16:43 <+Jen|> He was hot! 16:43 <+Jen|> But I wish he'd fix his clothes. 16:44 <+Jen|> And his hair. 16:44 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don, Anne Maria, and Cameron by the hot tub* 16:44 <@Don|> Staci? 16:44 <+AnneMaria3> HATE HER! 16:44 <+Cameron09> Staci was scary. 16:44 <+Cameron09> But she did provide me with evidence to prove you know who was a horrible person 16:45 <+Cameron09> I'm glad I'm here and not on that island with him... 16:45 <+AnneMaria3> Yeah I DO know who, short stuff ;/ 16:45 <@Don|> *scene switches to Carrie and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:45 <+Carrie|> I don't know how I feel about Staci. 16:45 <+Carrie|> She seems nice on the outside, but on the inside, she can be brutal. 16:45 <+Sam10> That's what I thought too, until she warned me about Scott 16:46 <+Sam10> She's got flaws like everyone 16:46 <+Sam10> But she's realer than people give her credit for! 16:46 <+Carrie|> Scott doesn't have flaws. 16:46 <+Carrie|> He's peeerfect... 16:46 <+Sam10> Uuuugh 16:46 <@Don|> *scene switches to Jen, Lightning, and Miles by the grill* 16:47 <+Jen|> Oh my gosh, Staci? 16:47 <+Jen|> Don't even get me STARTED on her lack of fashion sense. 16:47 <+Jen|> I'm already writing a post about her for my Faux Pas Friday blog. 16:47 <+Miles> She's a compulsive liar. 16:47 <+Miles> Her nonstop talking hurts the ears of Mother Earth. 16:47 <+Jen|> Can we talk about someone better? 16:48 <+Jen|> Like Ennui! His make-up skills are so good. 16:48 <+Jen|> I need to know where he gets his eyeliner. 16:48 <+Lightning|> He's a loser! 16:48 <+Lightning|> There, I said it. 16:48 <+Lightning|> I could shred him anytime, anywhere. 16:48 <+Miles> Why shred something when you can recycle it? 16:49 <+Jen|> Not this again... 16:49 <@Don|> *scene switches to Anne Maria and Cameron by the hot tub* 16:49 <+Cameron09> Ennui was scary too! 16:49 <+AnneMaria3> You gotta hand it to him, brain boy 16:49 <+AnneMaria3> For a quiet guy Ennui sure is a charmer 16:49 <@Don|> *scene switches to Carrie and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:50 <+Carrie|> Honestly? 16:50 <+Carrie|> Out of every guy that dumped me, Ennui's hurt the most. 16:50 <+Sam10> *sadly sighs* 16:50 <+Carrie|> There's just something about him. 16:50 <+Carrie|> I loved how he was all broody and misunderstood. 16:50 <+Sam10> I'm the definition of misunderstood! 16:51 <+Carrie|> No, Sam. 16:51 <+Carrie|> I understand you. :) 16:51 <@Don|> *scene switches to Jen, Lightning, and Miles by the grill* 16:51 <+Lightning|> Playa Des Losers sucks! 16:51 <+Lightning|> It has the word "loser" in the name, and Lightning's no loser. 16:51 <+Lightning|> I should be back at camp! With Emma! 16:51 <+Jen|> OMG. I knew you liked her. 16:52 <+Lightning|> Nuh-uh! 16:52 <+Lightning|> Lightning cares about the game first, money second, rings third, his future mansion fourth, his future tiger fifth... 16:52 <@Don|> *scene switches to Anne Maria and Cameron by the hot tub* 16:52 <+AnneMaria3> That girl creases me 16:52 <+AnneMaria3> Who does she think she is gettin close with Lightning? 16:52 <+AnneMaria3> She ain't much competition but jeez louise 16:53 <+Cameron09> You have to admit she's kind! 16:53 <+Cameron09> And really, the only one on my team with a brain... 16:53 <+Cameron09> Again no offense Anne Maria 16:53 <+AnneMaria3> Hmph 16:53 * AnneMaria3 flips hair 16:53 <@Don|> *scene switches to Don, Carrie, and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:54 <@Don|> So, what do you guys think of Emma? 16:54 <+Carrie|> Loved her! 16:54 <+Carrie|> My biggest regret was getting between her and Lightning. 16:54 <+Carrie|> She's a great girl, and an awesome friend. 16:54 <+Sam10> Ditto 16:54 <+Carrie|> I hope Scott likes her too, so we can all be friends. 16:55 <+Sam10> >.> 16:55 <+Sam10> I think Scott's a creep! 16:55 <+Sam10> And unattractive! 16:55 <+Sam10> And Carrie's too good for him 16:55 * Carrie| gasps. 16:56 <+Carrie|> SAM. 16:56 <+Sam10> :| 16:56 <@Don|> *scene switches to Jen, Lightning, and Miles by the grill* 16:56 <+Jen|> Scott almost killed me! 16:56 <+Jen|> He nearly set my hair on fire when he burned down that stage. 16:56 <+Jen|> Do you know how long I spend on my hair? 16:56 <+Lightning|> I can't believe Scott and Brody teamed up! 16:57 <+Lightning|> Lightning thinks Brody's a bro. 16:57 <+Lightning|> But Scott? He ain't no brother of mine! 16:57 <+Miles> Stop! We shouldn't fight his hate with more hate. 16:57 <+Miles> Instead, let us grow stronger through the practice of meditation. 16:57 <@Don|> *off-camera* Can you cut her mic?! 16:57 <@Don|> *scene switches to Carrie and Sam at the in-pool bar* 16:58 <+Carrie|> You don't seriously think Scott's a creep, do you Sam? 16:58 <+Sam10> Come on Carrie, he's like 16:58 <+Sam10> More evil than every game's final boss! 16:58 <+Sam10> Just look at how he treats Brody 16:58 <+Sam10> Pretending to be his friend? 16:58 <+Sam10> Lying?? 16:59 <+Sam10> You have to admit that's seriously sketchy! 16:59 * Carrie| stares at a framed picture of Scott. 16:59 <+Carrie|> Oops. Sorry. 16:59 <+Carrie|> What were we talking about? 16:59 <@Don|> *scene switches to Anne Maria and Cameron by the hot tub* 17:00 <+AnneMaria3> It's sad that a sweetheart like Brody got suckered in by a jerk like Scott 17:00 <+AnneMaria3> Farm boy doesn't deserve a dime of that million 17:00 <+Cameron09> SCOTT 17:00 <+Cameron09> YOU WANNA KNOW 17:00 <+Cameron09> HOW I FEEL ABOUT SCOTT 17:00 <+Cameron09> HE 17:00 <+Cameron09> *takes a deep breath* 17:01 <+Cameron09> is not very kind. 17:01 <+Cameron09> But Brody's alright! 17:01 <@Don|> *scene switches to everyone by the pool* 17:01 <@Don|> Losers, glad you're all here. 17:01 <+Lightning|> Will you quit calling us that?! 17:01 <@Don|> Not until you win something. 17:02 <@Don|> As I was saying, tonight - for the first time ever - the fate of the players will rest in your hands. 17:02 <+Cameron09> GOODBYE SCOTT YOU STUPID MOTHER- 17:02 <+Cameron09> Oh! 17:02 <+Cameron09> I mean, 17:02 <+Cameron09> great. 17:02 <@Don|> :| 17:03 <+Jen|> Wait, this is so last season. 17:03 <+Jen|> As in they literally did it last season. 17:03 <@Don|> Close. 17:03 <@Don|> Except this time, you won't be voting anyone off. 17:03 <@Don|> Since there are seven of you and seven of them, each of you will be assigned a camper still in the game... 17:03 <@Don|> And must fight for THEIR LIFE during today's three surprise challenges! 17:04 <+Carrie|> Ooh. 17:04 <+Carrie|> Can I be Team Scott? 17:04 <@Don|> Yes. 17:04 <@Don|> But only because the producers wanted that anyway. 17:04 <@Don|> Miles, you're Team Staci. 17:04 <@Don|> Anne Maria's Team Ennui, Cameron's Team Emma, Jen is Team Dakota... 17:04 <@Don|> With Sam representing Team Brody and Lightning for Team Devin! 17:05 <+Lightning|> Sha-yeah! 17:05 <@Don|> *scene switches to the losers hanging upside down from a tree; Don watches them from below* 17:05 <@Don|> Alright. 17:05 <@Don|> In our first challenge, the person who hangs on the longest secures safety for their competing camper. 17:05 <+Carrie|> I'll do it! 17:05 <+Carrie|> For Scott! 17:06 <+Lightning|> This is supposed to be hard? 17:06 <+Lightning|> Devin man, you have nothing to worry about! I can hang here all day! 17:06 <+Cameron09> *struggles to hold on to the tree* 17:06 <+Cameron09> Y-yeah, me too... 17:06 * AnneMaria3 stares at Lightning as she hangs 17:06 <+Cameron09> Oh no, I think I'm slipping! 17:07 <+Cameron09> Anne Maria, help! 17:07 <+Cameron09> *falls and hits head on tree* 17:07 <+Cameron09> Ow... 17:07 <@Don|> Cameron is first to fall! 17:07 <@Don|> Great job, Anne Maria. 17:07 <+AnneMaria3> Huh? 17:08 * AnneMaria3 loses concentration and falls next to Cameron 17:08 <+AnneMaria3> Aaaaaaah! 17:08 <+AnneMaria3> Whoops! 17:08 <+Sam10> *falls off* 17:08 <+Lightning|> Ha! 17:08 <+Lightning|> These losers are dropping like flies. 17:09 * Miles gasps. 17:09 <+Miles> The death of innocent flies is no laughing matter. 17:09 <+Miles> Without insects, we could go extinct. 17:09 * Miles hugs the tree. 17:09 <+Miles> Don't listen to him, Mother. 17:09 <+Miles> He just doesn't understand. 17:10 <+Sam10> o_o 17:10 * Jen| sees a squirrel and screams. 17:10 <+Jen|> Get it away! 17:10 <+Carrie|> Awww, it's only a harmless squirrel. 17:10 <+Jen|> Harmless? 17:10 <+Jen|> It could have rabies! 17:11 * Jen| slips and falls. 17:11 <+Jen|> Oof! 17:11 * Miles holds her ear up to the tree. 17:11 <+Miles> What's that you say? 17:11 <+Miles> Don, I need to drop out. 17:11 <+Miles> Mother says our combined weight is hurting this poor tree. 17:11 <@Don|> And you know that... how? 17:12 * Miles falls and lands on her feet. 17:12 <+Miles> I'm one of Mother Earth's disciples. 17:12 <+Miles> We have a very close relationship where she tells me things in my head. 17:12 <@Don|> Oookay. 17:12 <@Don|> That explains a lot, actually. 17:12 <@Don|> Carrie and Lightning, as the last two campers still hanging on, you no longer have to compete! 17:12 <@Don|> Scott and Devin are safe. 17:13 * Lightning| high-fives Carrie, but falls down the tree while doing so. 17:13 <@Don|> That means Miles, Anne Maria, Cameron, Jen, and Sam are all moving on to part two. 17:13 <@Don|> *scene switches to the remaining losers circled around the pool* 17:13 <@Don|> A reversed game of Marco Polo, where the campers who stay on land the longest win! 17:13 <+Jen|> Ooh! I love this game. 17:13 <+Jen|> We're gonna have to run, won't we? 17:14 <@Don|> Yup. 17:14 <+Jen|> Great. 17:14 <+Jen|> So much for my nice new pedicure. 17:14 * Don| takes out a whistle and blows into it. 17:14 <@Don|> Go! 17:14 * AnneMaria3 shoves Miles hard into the pool 17:15 <+AnneMaria3> Yeah baby! 17:15 <+Jen|> Hey, that's not fair. 17:15 <+Jen|> You barely gave her a chance! 17:15 <+AnneMaria7> Who asked YOU, ponytail? 17:15 * Jen| growls and throws her boot at Anne Maria's hair. 17:15 <+AnneMaria3> You did not touch the hair! 17:16 * AnneMaria3 shoves Jen harder 17:16 * Jen| stumbles back and bumps into Cameron. 17:16 <+Cameron09> *slaps Jen* 17:16 <+Jen|> OW! 17:16 <+Cameron09> I'M SORRY 17:16 <+Cameron09> THIS CHALLENGE SCARES ME 17:17 * AnneMaria3 shoves Jen again while she has the chance 17:17 * Jen| falls into Cameron and knocks them both into the pool. 17:17 * Don| snickers. 17:17 <@Don|> Now that was good TV! 17:17 <@Don|> Anne Maria and Sam, congratulations. 17:17 <@Don|> You saved Ennui and Brody. 17:17 <+AnneMaria3> Alright 17:18 <+AnneMaria3> Up top, gamer boy *offers high five* 17:18 <+Sam10> *high fives her* Cool! 17:18 <@Don|> *scene switches to Cameron, Jen, and Miles locked in cages by the grill* 17:18 <@Don|> It's down to Miles, Cameron, and Jen. 17:18 <@Don|> For our last challenge, you'll stay locked in these cages while finishing a bowl of Chef's mystery meat. 17:18 <@Don|> Throw up and the contestant you're playing for gets eliminated! 17:19 <+Cameron09> WHAT?? 17:19 <+Cameron09> NO 17:19 <+Cameron09> I CAN'T FAIL EMMA 17:19 <+Cameron09> DON LET ME BE TEAM SCOTT PLEASE 17:19 * Carrie| puts the spoon in Cameron's mouth. 17:19 <+Carrie|> Silly! 17:19 <+Carrie|> Scott's not taking the catapult anytime soon. :) 17:20 <+Sam10> Here comes the choo choo *offers spoon to Miles* 17:20 * Miles tastes it. 17:20 <+Miles> Wait. 17:20 <+Miles> These aren't mystery beets! 17:20 <@Don|> I said mystery MEAT. 17:20 <@Don|> If you had listened... 17:21 <+Miles> THIS IS MEAT?!?! 17:21 <+Miles> I CAN'T EAT MEAT! 17:21 <+Miles> ANIMALS ARE OUR FRIENDS! 17:21 * Miles throws up in her mouth. 17:21 <+AnneMaria3> Why don't you just pretend it's a food you LIKE 17:21 <+AnneMaria3> Sheesh 17:21 * Miles swallows the vomit. 17:22 <+Cameron09> Ewww! 17:22 <+Cameron09> *tries to scarf it down* 17:22 <+Jen|> This is SO disgusting. 17:22 <+Sam10> *feeds Jen* Yeah, I'd hate to be you right now 17:22 * Jen| starts being fed slop. 17:22 <+Sam10> Hey Miles! 17:23 <+Sam10> You eating or not? 17:23 * Miles shakes her head. 17:23 <@Don|> Miles, out of sheer curiosity. 17:23 <@Don|> You know this is a CHALLENGE, right? 17:23 <+Miles> I still win if someone throws up. 17:23 <+Jen|> I'm gonna puke. 17:23 * Miles gives a thumbs up to Mother Earth. 17:24 <+Cameron09> *starts eating even faster* 17:24 <+Cameron09> Just pretend it's rice pudding, pretend it's rice pudding 17:24 * Miles starts to feel vomit rising up. 17:24 * Miles contains it. 17:24 <+AnneMaria3> That's the spirit, tree hugger! 17:24 <+AnneMaria3> A little meat ain't gonna kill ya right? 17:25 * Miles throws up on Anne Maria. 17:25 <+Miles> You... 17:25 <+Miles> Should not have said the word meat. 17:25 <+AnneMaria3> :O 17:25 <+Sam10> YOWZERS 17:25 <+Lightning|> Ooh, that's nasty. 17:26 <+AnneMaria3> YOU PUKED ON ME! 17:26 <+Miles> I'm sorry! 17:26 <+Miles> I couldn't hold it in! 17:26 <+AnneMaria3> YOU BETTA BE SORRY 17:26 <+AnneMaria3> AHHHHHH! 17:26 <@Don|> And while that gets sorted out, it's time to eliminate the person Miles was competing for... 17:27 <@Don|> *scene switches to Staci in the Hurl of Shame* 17:27 <@Don|> Staci! 17:27 <+Staci> This is so unfair! 17:27 <+Staci> What did I do? 17:27 <@Don|> The better question is: what didn't you do? 17:27 <+Staci> HOLD ON. 17:28 <+Staci> If you let me stay, I'll give you some top secret dirt on Chef. 17:28 <@Don|> Really? 17:28 <@Don|> Okay, you can stay. 17:28 <+Staci> :o 17:28 <+Staci> I CAN?! 17:28 <@Don|> Nope. 17:29 <@Don|> Doesn't feel so great being lied to, does it? 17:29 <@Don|> *catapults Staci* 17:29 <+Staci> Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh! 17:29 <@Don|> Well, that was a shock. 17:29 <@Don|> What other surprises are in store for our cast next week? 17:29 <@Don|> Tune in to find out on BONEY ISLAND! 17:30 <@Don|> -- END -- R R R